As we move towards a more developed society, awareness of psychological issues is also spreading. Many people tend to avoid those who display signs of attention-seeking behavior. While I understand that choice, I don’t respect it. As evolved humans, we should cultivate empathy to help and protect those around us. By doing this, we ensure camaraderie and create an environment of harmony.

Why is that important ?

In a society where people don’t help each other, trust begins to erode. Eventually, they stop talking to one another, and their hearts grow cold. This lack of trust can even extend to the government and institutions, potentially leading to a rise in anarchism.

From this discussion, we understand why it’s important to trust those around us and to protect them.

How one should be protected from predators ?

Jordan B. Peterson has proposed an interesting answer to this problem. (This is something I disagree with.) He said that if you think someone is in distress purely due to bad luck or being wronged by society, you remove any accountability and power from that person—in the past, present, and future. Instead, you would be better off assuming that a person in distress is in that pit due to their own fault, and this should be your primary assumption. After all, how would you know that their call for distress is not manipulative?

While I don’t just disagree with his solution, I also think it’s wrong. His argument is based on the assumption that we can’t know if a person in need is exploiting the helper.

My counterargument is illustrated in the popular game Red Dead Redemption 2, which is set in the period when the Wild West was ending. In this open-world game, the protagonist, Arthur Morgan, sometimes has the choice to help the less fortunate, which increases his honor, and when he does something wrong, his honor decreases.

Sometimes these less-fortunate NPCs are there to exploit kind people who stop to help, leading to theft or attack, and often they are ultimately dealt with by Arthur Morgan, showing how he is capable of helping others and protecting himself simultaneously.

Charity is a luxury for the aristocrats and a necessity for the working class.

~ Amarnath Pandey

People who can truly help are powerful enough not to be harmed when these predators attack them, because the present can help each other, but only a hero can salvage the present—a hero who is strong and capable of not being defeated after being struck by a weak, evil entity that pretends to need saving, hoping for a chance to become fortunate again.

Understanding Attention-Seeking Behaviour

Now that we have covered that, let’s talk about people who have Attention-Seeking Behavior. In my experience, and that of several of my friends, these people often don’t realize that they are displaying attention-seeking behavior. They don’t even know that they are doing these things to get attention; instead, they genuinely believe what they do is good. So, it’s not a psychopathic behavior to exploit empathy from people, but rather a delusion—a delusion that isn’t benefiting them in any way.

The Impact on Others

During these times, we live in a more developed society, and awareness of psychological problems is also spreading. People understand that someone might just want attention, and they separate these individuals from their lives, as they should, because these people feed on a very important and scarce resource of human executive function: focus or concentration.

If you spend any time in your day trying to be productive, you will understand how this is a limited resource. When someone in your friend circle just wants to drain this from you, you are compelled to cut this person out of your life.

The Exhausting Cycle

Now that person A has a friend, he/she seeks more attention and might be more successful in this case because this time they have a genuine problem: ‘A valuable friend has left them.’ This cycle of attention-seeking behaviour continues, valuable friends leave, and the person makes new friends, who eventually leave again.

This cycle takes a lot out of person A and causes immense emotional exhaustion.

Emotional Consequences

This Emotional exhaustion might manifests as depression or anxiety. in these individuals.

Breaking the Cycle

For these individuals, breaking out of the cycle on their own is very difficult; the best way is to consult a professional and get a psychologist to work with them. However, I have given some ideas that might work for you or your friends.

No matter what happens, I suggest not leaving them but trying to genuinely help them.

Self-awareness is the foundation

It requires individuals to recognize and accept their patterns of seeking validation. Many people engage in these behaviors unconsciously, often stemming from unmet emotional needs or early experiences where attention became a substitute for love or acceptance. Recognizing these triggers can empower individuals to take control over their actions instead of allowing old patterns to dictate them.

Popping the bubble

To pop someone’s illusion or misconception in a meaningful way, consider the following strategies:

Empathy and Understanding:

Begin by expressing empathy. Acknowledge that you understand why they might believe what they do. This approach shows respect for their perspective, making them more open to your viewpoint. For example, you might say, “I can see why you might think that because…”

Reduce Unnecessary Attention:

• Avoid giving excessive attention to the behavior you’re trying to discourage. If the behavior escalates for attention, calmly disengage. For example, “I’ll talk to you when you can speak more calmly.

Ask Insightful Questions:

Encourage critical thinking by asking questions that make them reflect on their beliefs. Questions like, “What would happen if the opposite were true?” or “Can you think of any evidence that contradicts this view?” can prompt them to consider alternative perspectives.

Use the Socratic Method:

Engage them in dialogue where you ask questions that lead them to reveal the flaws in their own reasoning through their answers. This method helps them realize discrepancies in their beliefs without direct confrontation.

Present Compelling Evidence:

Before directly challenging their belief, ask what kind of evidence would change their mind. This sets a benchmark for what they consider convincing. Then, present factual, well-sourced information that aligns with this criteria.

Frame Arguments Emotionally:

People often hold onto illusions because of emotional attachments. Frame your arguments in a way that aligns with or speaks to their emotional state or values. Instead of just presenting facts, show how those facts could lead to outcomes they value or fear.

that’s all I have in my arsenal to help people who have Attention-Seeking Behaviour.

Tell me what you Think.

May be you would like to reed House MD’s psychoanalysis.